When worlds collide…

I have loved Second Life for a long time, for the people I met there and for the creative sides of it. Never seen the virtual world as somewhere to make money. On the contrary I’ve always felt that it’s a bit too much money and sex in SL for my taste. For those of you who have read my blog for a while knows I have a store in worlds and products at XstreetSL, but the main reason for that has always been the creative part. I love that people love my creations.

I’ve always been able to use SL as a place for recreation, where I can forget about Real Life for a while. But as RL problems got bigger, the harder it was to relax and forgot. Now I’m facing a big decision. Will I have to downgrade to a free account and sell my land or stay as it is. If I’ll do, I’ll have to find a way to earn enough in SL to keep the land. That means more work with new products, more advertising. Will I have time for that? Will it be enough? Or should I close my eyes and drive off towards the cliff that that will be there at some time.

Why can’t I just move in to SL?

SL as therapy?

Can you use SL as a way to work your way out of a crises? Or can you write yourself well? I’ve tried both. When I first joined SL I was overworked and really depressed. I spent more time online than offline and that helped me get better for a while. But at some point I felt I didn’t need SL that much. My trips to the virtual world was just for fun.

I have also written myself out of depression. The novel I have that is almost finished kept me sane when life got too difficult for me.

But in the end, all that is just superficial. You can’t hide in a virtual world or in a self created fairytale forever. As a “friend” in SL once told me:

“Alright, here’s a reality check. You’re old, you’re fucking ugly, you have a go nowhere career, you’re lost within a fictional world and live your life through a video game.”

How right he was…

I’m at a point in my life when everything just falls apart around and inside me and nothing I do can distract me from that. I know that my blog posts wouldn’t be very interesting or fun right now, so I‘ll stop writing for a while.

A break

As my regular readers might have realized, I haven’t written anything for a long time. First the reason was that my RL was taking a lot of my time. I actually had things to do for a change. Now, when things have slowed down, it might take some time until I can write something. And it might take even longer before I can enjoy SL again. And quite some time longer before I can enjoy RL again. I’ll answer if someone contacts me, but I won’t be Lila for a while. If I could, I wouldn’t be my RL self either. Wish I could take a break from life for a while.